Coffee for Breakfast

I was one year old in 1970. This  was the year our most cherished family tradition began for me. Of course I can’t remember that particular  annual family reunion, but several during that decade ar e etched in my heart memories forever.  Each  year the  entire family on my Daddy’s  side, gathered in  the small Texas town of  Stephenville .  My grandmother,  Mamma w , only saw her extended family ,  the third weekend in June, annually. As much as I loved actually attending the reunion ,  part of the excitement for me as a young girl, was the long road trip itself.   Mammaw  always rode wi th us. One of our traditions was that I would always sit in her lap during the  car ride. This was long before the requirement of  seat belts . The most memorable trips included a stops along the way. One year we stopped in  Glenrose , Texas  at Dinosaur Valley. I w ill always treasure the snapshots fr...

Even when I finally track you down, I know in my heart you're still lost. How I wish you were a tiny little boy still hanging onto my leg. Sometimes I thought you'd never be able to be without me. You had the worst separation anxiety. You were an absolute mama's boy. It was so hard back then, I thought. I sometimes felt like I could never have a break. You loved me so much and that was the thing that just melted my heart. Now my heart just breaks. When you were small I had such a fear of losing you in a crowd. I watched you like a hawk in the grocery store or the mall. I kept my eyes locked on you as I shopped. I've always had to fight away worry. When you were eight years old, we did actually lose you at Six Flags. I had been using that eagle eye that mamas have all day long. I felt that I couldn't take my eyes off of any of the five of you kids all day. Then, in such a small moment of time, I looked away. When I started counting kids again, one, two, three, f...

The Shepherd loves to watch His sheep, And I, the mom, can get some sleep. My days of anguish, stress, and fear Have proven to be too much to bear. Into His hands, I've given all, I trust in Him to break this wall        of hurt, distrust, and shame. I fully trust to one day see        the cherished son who was born to me, Call upon our Shepherd's Name.

Most of the time, it seems to me, disagreements happen because of simple misunderstandings. Other times though, "it goes much deeper than that". (to quote a very misguided individual) Those are the words used to explain a person's wrong actions and attempt to make it sound spiritual at the same time. Well, that's not a new trick. Satan quoted scripture to Jesus after he had fasted for forty days and nights. I didn't just miss that. Did you? Jesus had been fasting. What happens to your body during a fast? I've personally never fasted for forty days but I'm pretty sure my flesh would be pretty weak. So, here comes the enemy, trying to sound "all spiritual", while simultaneously attacking while you are in a weakened condition. Wouldn't a person be able to be used of God in a much deeper way if they only used discernment, and maybe a little common sense? Let's say, for example, you have prayed to be used of God. You have a made up mind to ser...

Sometimes we take off on an unplanned spontaneous trip. It starts as just a little side road. It seems our curiosity can sometimes get the better of us. These trips can be likened to a thrill ride at an amusement park. Then, as abruptly as a theme park roller coaster, this little adventure comes to a screeching halt. As fun as it seemed at the moment, it ends with gut-wrenching regret as we hurl the contents of our empty life upon the sidewalk. This thrill ends with a solemn vow to ourselves to never make that mistake again. Upon a closer look we notice that rickety roller coaster. The rust of a few too many rides makes us question what on earth seemed so appealing about that ride? Come to think of it, where are all it's former riders? One look around reveals the ugly truth. There is no one. Unless you count the few surviving victims that hide in the darkness of the surrounding woods. Then, as undeniable as a knife in the back, we see that this ride has a name. The billboard was i...

It would be impossible to not notice the increased amount of blog traffic. It makes for an interesting study in people.   I started this blog over 4 years ago. I like to write and thought it would be a great way to share projects and photos with friends and family. Occassionally I share a link to other blogs I find interesting and whatnot. I never thought anyone would find it of interest other than the handful I told the address. Nor was it a secret for those who might stumble upon it. Then... After going through a horrendous, hideous, and word hurling break-up, my oldest daughter decided to write. She, like me, finds writing as an outlet. A way to share her heart when feeling misunderstood. I encouraged her to write from her heart with all the honesty she could muster. She did. I am proud of her. She is not shocked by the twisting of her words. This is not the first time in her 23 years that people have raged an all out evil war against her. She is the toughest 5'3" female I...

My earlier post came about because of a recent bible study. I was studying the book of Ruth last week. I love Ruth. This time though, I studied from Naomi's point of view. Here are some notes from my journal. Oh Naomi, how much more closely I can relate to you right now than Ruth. I've always liked the book of Ruth...from Ruth's perspective. Looking at this story from a different point of view has been eye-opening. First of all, when life came tumbling down around her, Naomi did two things that are not acceptable in church circles. She changed her name from 'Pleasantness' to 'Bitterness', and she blamed God. (Naomi answered the people, "Don't call me Naomi [pleasant]. Call me Mara [bitter], because the Almighty has made my life very sad. When I left, I had all I wanted, but now, the LORD has brought me home with nothing...) BUT, God was about to move in her life in ways she had never dreamed! God had already set in motion His plan of redemption. The...

I'm having computer issues. Drafting a new post on this phone is annoying, to say the least. Hopefully I will return to posting on a regular basis soon! I have alot to say! Lol Our schedule has become very full again. It's that time of year. I want to share a few things on my heart. I would like to post more about homeschooling. I want to share some things I've been learning. Most of all I want to share the purpose of this blog. Coming soon...

My favorite new item on the first day of the year is a book. A book full of blank pages. I have always journaled off and on throughout my life. It is only more recent that I have consistently journaled. I'm not consistent in a daily sense, but consistent nontheless. I have managed to keep a yearly journal for the last couple of years. These treasured books have some stories to tell, but I don't really share these most private thoughts on this blog. Someday, I possibly could, but for now I will keep these stories private. These stories are about the last couple of years of my life. The pages contain some of the absolute lowest points of my life. They also contain some of the most wonderful moments. I often wonder how I could live in such contrast. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it w...